Contrived plot of 'Something Borrowed' is insufferable

2011-05-09T15:10:00Z 2011-05-09T15:21:59Z Contrived plot of 'Something Borrowed' is insufferableLinda Cook The Quad-City Times
May 09, 2011 3:10 pm  • 

You'd have a lot more fun sharing a few Heinekens than wasting your time on this movie in which lies build upon lies until the whole plot comes crashing down.

Never once will you believe any of these characters or what they do except as vehicles to keep the story line lurching along. As for the Heinekens, which are in practically every scene, I don't remember the last time I've seen such a blatant display of product placement (not that a Heineken wouldn't taste great about now).

The tedium begins to build immediately. Darcy (Kate Hudson) throws a surprise birthday party for her best friend Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin, who played the adorable aunt in "Ramona and Beezus"). As always, despite the fact that it isn't her birthday, Darcy puts herself in the limelight, stealing every moment from her friend who affably goes along with everything Darcy says or does.

Darcy is about to be married to Dex (Colin Egglesfield), an attorney who is a longtime friend of Rachel's. Rachel, of course, will be Darcy's maid of honor.

One night, Dex and Rachel end up having a few Heinekens after Darcy has gone home. And wouldn't you know it: It turns out that Rachel had a crush on Dex in law school. She never wanted to admit it, though, because he didn't seem like the kind of guy who would want to become involved with a girl like Rachel. It was Rachel who introduced Dex to Darcy.

Dex and Rachel end up spending the night together and, ultimately, having an affair.

Ethan (John Krasinski, from TV's "The Office") is on hand as Rachel's friend who can't stand Darcy, and Marcus (Steve Howey) is Dex's pal. Except for Ethan (who, incidentally, has all the funny lines), the characters here are insufferable. Neither Dex nor Rachel has a backbone, and Darcy is simply the most annoying, unlikeable character to hit the big screen so far this year.

As the characters lie to each other, whine to each other and proceed to create a shambles of their lives, you'll grow weary of the whole mess until the ridiculous finale, which is so contrived you'll want to go home and have a Heineken.

I always wonder: Do the performers get free cases of Heineken when the product placement is so obvious? What would happen if a movie critic mentioned Heineken six times in a review?

Just asking.

 

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