Tammy Havemann spent last Tuesday night with Marcie Snyder doing "the usual."
"I went over to Marcie's to — I don't know what you want to call it, maybe — hang out," Havemann said. "We had become friends over the course of the last year, and we got close.
"It wasn't hard to get close with Marcie. What made her unique, to me, was the way she cared about her friends. She loved her friends and family. She always had dinner with some family members Wednesday night. Always. Every Wednesday. She'd pick up her mother, Evelyn, and take her out."
But Snyder didn't get the chance to spend last Wednesday, Oct. 2 with her mother. She did not eat dinner with any of her five sisters or three brothers.
Colona Police found the 51-year-old dead in her home at 1140 Oak Drive, Colona about 5:40 a.m. last Wednesday. Steven Scott, 56, is charged with two counts of first-degree murder. Scott and Snyder were in a relationship.
After Snyder's Sunday visitation, Havemann and her husband, Ken, said they were "beyond shocked" by Wednesday's news. Nate Thompson, who knew Snyder and Scott for about eight years, said the couple's tight-knit circle of friends is grieving for the loss of some of the glue that bound them all together.
"Steve was the one who reached out to me because, about eight years ago, I was having some personal problems. My mom lives in a neighborhood near them," Thompson said Monday after Snyder's funeral. "Then I met Marcie and she just opened her home to me. I could stay anytime I needed and we just all became friends in the neighborhood."
If Wednesday nights were for family, Thursday nights in the fall were for football — and friends.
"Our neighborhood is called Green River, and Marcie's house is right up from it," Thompson explained. "Every Thursday night I walked up to her house for Thursday night football. Marcie loved the company. She just loved to hang out."
For Snyder, new friends were treated the same as the old.
"We spent a lot of time with Steve and Marcie over the last year," Ken Havemann said. "I would say we were close with both of them. They liked to come over and spend time on our porch. They both liked a good bonfire and the company of friends."
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Scott was arraigned on the murder charges last Thursday in Henry County Circuit Court. According to State's Attorney Matt Schutte, Scott and Snyder were in an argument when he grabbed a knife. Schutte said he cut her and inflicted three more injuries after that, then stood and watched her taking her last breaths.
Tammy Havemann said she " ... didn't notice anything too strange" the night before the alleged murder, adding " ... there might have been some tension in the air, but that's looking back on everything.
"Sometimes it's not easy to make friends — so many people are busy, and making friends takes effort," she said. "With Marcie, there was no effort. She had these bright eyes and gorgeous smile and you couldn't help but look at her and feel good. I knew Marcie for just a while and I loved her. I can't even imagine how her old friends feel."
Another friend recalled those same traits about Snyder.
"I just met Marcie a few months ago, and what really stood out to me was how she was always listening and paying attention," Brandy Cope said. "She remembered things about people and would talk to you about those things. She just always seemed very interested. She took the time and paid attention."
Thompson added perspective to Snyder's caring ways.
"Marcie was always to first to call me and Amanda (Thompson's wife) on our anniversary," he said, "This is the kind of person Marcie was: Every year on her birthday my daughter's subscription to HiLights Magazine renews. That was Marcie. She got my daughter that subscription and she made sure to renew it every year.
"If you were Marcie's friend, you were family."
Tammy Havemann smiled when remembering her friend's love of sports and the outdoors. She said Snyder was a fan of the New York Yankees and the Green Bay Packers.
"Although she was good with the (Chicago) Cubs and the (Chicago) Bears, too," Havemann said. "She talked about the Cubs quite a bit. I know she loved to go to games and she went to at least one Cubs game not too long ago."
In the meantime, the big group of friends brought together by Scott and Snyder are still trying to make sense of what happened on Oct. 2.
"Marcie and Steve were a loving couple, and we loved both of them. This doesn't seem real. It can't be real — and a lot of people are feeling that way," Thompson said. "Saturday night, we all got together for a bonfire and tried to share our happy memories. And Sunday, before the visitation, about 60 of us were together. We just want to think about how much we love both Marcie and Steve. It's all very confusing right now, and the biggest struggle is with the anger and resentment we feel. We're just all trying to stay together."