With the 2018 World Cup about to begin in Putin's Russia, a prediction:
President Donald Trump will rock the world and the social media universe and burn Twitter to ashes with this amazing tweet:
"Congratulations Mexico on winning the World Cup. It's not sad. It's huge!!! Well done El Tri!!! Guardado, lungs of iron, you're the man! And if Chicharito and his teammates come to the White House we'll serve tres leches. And America will pay for the cake!"
Think I'm dreaming? But that's what the World Cup is all about, dreams. And now without the U.S. in the cup competition, and Greece and Italy out as well, I need a team to root for.
Mexico will win.
It is a dream, but then nations dream during the world's true global sporting event, with at least 5 billion people dreaming and watching. The dream starts with a boy and a ball, often a poor boy alone, bouncing his ball on an alley wall. His mother begs him to come in for dinner.
It's not that he won't stop. He can't. It's futbol. And so the dream begins.
The dream grows, and then entire countries stand still, holding their breaths, the streets silent as the people get ready to scream with the joy of victory or suffer the agony of defeat so overwhelming they will be depressed for years, babbling in self-loathing rage, like Brazil after that 7-1 spanking at the hands of the relentless German machine four years ago in Rio.
Brazilians haven't forgotten that day. The only way to erase the stain is to win it all. Revenge is a dish best served cold. But they will serve their revenge hot to the world.
It's the World Cup, dammit.
During the games, national team coaches will send out forms excusing fans from work; and wise managers (including news editors) would be fools to expect too much.
In some of the more uncivilized countries, like America, a few old geezers will complain that NFL preseason shows like "Cleveland Browns: Hard Knocks" aren't getting enough attention. And those five-plus-hour mid-June baseball games -- narcolepsy in pinstripes -- will be ignored as we ponder important things, like:
Who will Luis Suarez bite this time? Will he go for the ear or the neck?
Will German manager Joachim Low again do something gross with his fingers?
Will this World Cup be the last for two of the greatest players in history, Cristiano Ronaldo of Portugal and Lionel Messi of Argentina? If one of these two soccer gods leads his country to victory, he will be considered the greatest athlete of all time.
Yeah, LeBron, you're not in their league.
And, will young American socialist Bernie Bros -- who love soccer -- come to love Fox (Sports), which is broadcasting the games?
Let's get to Kasso's World Cup breakdown.
Mexico is the dark horse, but it can win the trophy. El Tri is relentless in attack, its players slash with style, they're at their peak and they have one of the great poachers in Chicharito Hernandez. The dos Santos brothers are finally healthy. They have the leadership of Andres "Lungs of Iron" Guardado and Carlos Vela, and a new star in Hirving Lozano. And what better way to shame the U.S. (which failed to even qualify) into revamping its approach to youth soccer than for Mexico to win it all in Russia? Go El Tri.
Germany: The machine. Was it only four years ago that Chicago Fire's Bastian Schweinsteiger had his bloody head stapled as Germany beat Argentina in the final in Rio? That is the iconic image of Basti as champion warrior, hoisting the real cup. This year's German team is among the favorites, with young players like the outstanding right wing back Joshua Kimmich. Thomas Muller provides leadership up top, and one of the best goalkeepers on the planet is Manuel Neuer.
Brazil: They're all about attack and an avenger's crusade, going back to their roots, pushing the ball always forward, everyone including the keeper, Ederson, who fancies himself a midfielder, running out and taking on forwards while looking for Coutinho and Neymar on the far wings. They only have three true defenders. With Brazil, it's score or die.
France: The deepest team at the World Cup, a team of individual stars, offensively and defensively, but a team that was stymied by the junior varsity of the U.S. Men's National Team the other day. They lost the 2016 Euros to Portugal, who were without danger man Ronaldo due to the cynical tackle of Dimitri Payet, whom France left off the team. I love the French team, with the flair and haircuts of Pogba, the best defensive midfielder in the world in N'Golo Kante, and the new star of the game, Kylian Mbappe. Will he join Ronaldo, Messi and Neymar? This is his chance to prove himself to the world.
While I'm pulling for Mexico, I can't deny the Belgians, simply because of their talent, with perhaps the best technical midfield player in Kevin De Bruyne, the power of Romelu Lukaku up top and the craftiness on the wing of Eden Hazard, famed for his mercurial dribbling and for stabbing his club managers in the back.
But fear not. Mexico will win this for their first time in history. The grizzled 41-year-old veteran Rafa Marquez will smile in glory.
And President Trump will pay for the cake.