Welcome to Big Ten media days. Or as some schools view it, "Congrats on being a senior and having an awesome attitude so we're rewarding you with a trip to Chicago" days.
Only the Big Ten could hold an annual event to promote its best players and never invite Saquon Barkley.
This year's list of 42 players features 12 linemen, 11 linebackers and two quarterbacks. The gift bag should include a knee brace and neck roll.
But though it's fun to mock, every selection is justifiable. Except one. And it's spelled out below. (By the way, props to Nebraska for bringing quarterback Adrian Martinez, the super soph.)
Some schools (Wisconsin, Illinois) are unsure who will start at quarterback. Others (Purdue, Michigan State) brought their current starters last year. And, hey, this is the conference of Bo, Woody and clouds of dust, so linebackers and big uglies are more than welcome.
OK, on to one pertinent question for each team, plus their over/under win totals courtesy of SportsBetting.ag: