It's just after 5 a.m. Thursday and a pair of shadowy figures circle the practice putting green at TPC Deere Run. They push humming machines. There are lamps where their heads should be and strings of lights wrapped around the portion of our anatomy we call ankles.
Close encounters of the par-5 kind? Misplaced moon monsters?
The first signs of life before the start of the opening round of the John Deere Classic may have looked like something out of a low-budget science fiction movie, but the men and women who prepared TPC Deere Run's 18 holes proved to be down to earth. And crucial in the effort to keep the course looking its best.
"The thing you have to understand is there are two kinds of crews out here," Wayne Smith said as the expected 5:36 a.m. sunrise stayed behind looming gray clouds.
"You have Deere Run's ground crew — they are employees of the course, and they handle everything on the course," Smith said. "They mow and clean and do all the maintenance.
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"The Deere Classic volunteers — we're called the grunt crew — and we come from five different committees that handle everything from the port-a-potties and stocking each tee box with ice and drinks to stuff like raising the flags, emptying garbage cans and just helping out."
Smith loaded plywood boxes filled with tee markers into the bed of a Deere-wheeler.
"We put out the tee markers for the PGA officials, and they set the markers before the start of play," Smith said. "I'm responsible for holes one through nine this morning."
Along the route, Smith said he is the chairman of the grounds committee. Then he offered up the biographical note that he worked for John Deere for 32 years.
"I've been part of the grunt crew for the last 10 years — and before that I was a member of the scoring committee for, oh, about 15 years," Smith said over the roar of the four-wheeler.
The cart path Smith followed rose and fell. He took to the terrain like a person who was used to driving the course. At every tee box he revealed a little more of his life.
"Most of my time with Deere I worked at the technical center, where I was a development engineer.," Smith said after dropping the tee markers off at No. 5. "The last 10 or 12 years, I was part of a new group they called Precision Farming, which was responsible for developing the GPS applications for John Deere equipment."
At No. 7, Smith finally admitted to being a worthy character in the science fiction film that unfolded during Deere Run's pre-dawn darkness.
"I went to school at North Carolina State University, where I got my Ph.D. before coming to work for John Deere," Smith said. "At the technical center I did a variety of jobs — from the development of software and hardware, a lot of noise and vibration testing."
The incredible Twyla
Twyla Hall is 84 years old and bemoans the fact she stopped running the Quad-City Times Bix 7 when she turned 70.
"I'm out of shape," Hall said Thursday morning. "And I don't walk the course anymore, either."
Hall's self-deprecation didn't hide the fact she was the first spectator to set up shop at Deere Run's first tee — and may have been the first fan through the gate Thursday morning.
"I like to come early, get a good seat and watch these golfers tee off," Hall said as she sat in a red lawn chair shaded by a big, black umbrella. "I've been coming to the classic for the last five years, and I always come for the opening round and Sunday's final round.
"But I have to make the most of today. My sister-in-law up in Minnesota died and I have to drive up there this weekend."
Hall said her favorite pastime is traveling. And she said she will drive anywhere.
"I do worry, though," the Bettendorf resident said. "I'm scared they'll take my driver's license away. That would be the worst. That has to be one of the worst things about getting old."
Legend of Pork Chop Hill
Pablo Montoya was working hard by 7:30 a.m. Thursday. The catering manager for Spectrum Catering, he loaded ice at the company's main tent located between the backside of the clubhouse and the practice green.
"We handle all the catering for the JDC — all of the stands you see all over the course are run by Spectrum," Montoya said. "We have brisket and hamburgers and hot dogs and brats and breakfast."
Montoya paused and smiled.
"And of course, we serve the pork chops," Montoya said. "Hop in, I'll take you to Pork Chop Hill."
Three minutes later, Montoya introduced Pork Chop Chef Geoff Boyce. The grills under his watch are fired up early.
"Pork chops are huge at this event — by far our biggest seller," Boyce said. After some prodding from Boyce's line cooks, he revealed just how many pork chops he expected to sell over the course of John Deere Classic week.
"We'll probably go over 100,000," Boyce said. "People at this golf tournament love pork chops."
The sound of music funding
The folks working behind the counter at Spectrum Catering's big tent stood out from Thursday's first-round crowd. The seven employees all wore some version of Rock Island High School band apparel.
"The Rock Island Band has worked at the John Deere Classic serving food and drinks for at least 10 or 12 years," Michael Steinbeck said. He described himself as "the out-going president of the Band Parent Association."
As in, a new president is on the way. Steinbeck said there was no vote-count controversy.
"Actually, this fundraiser is our largest — by far — of all other fundraisers we have," Steinbeck said. "This fundraiser basically supports the Rock Island High School band, as well as the junior high and grade school bands."
Montgomery Murdock, a 17-year-old baritone player, and Keller Mathews, a 16-year-old who plays snare drum, arrived at TPC Deere Run around 8 a.m. and expected to work a minimum six-hour shift.
The key to making it through the day? Murdock and Mathews both said, "Caffeine."
